poems

mind and mind

a smoothened
world devoid of
grit and life in
the name of ease

separate from
each and all we
strive to connect
but blown apart

surely as leave
in a storm we
twirl and cavort
near but never

touching, or if
only briefly
delicate kiss
of mind and mind

addict

diseas-ed mind
consuming itself
in desparate
search of nothing

a warm nothing
dark and absent
listless gaze at
unseen vistas

nothing without
thought or sight for
those are inlets
through which pain and fear

might make inroads
latching hold and
drag me, screaming
into bright light

that search for blank
feeling becomes
its own meaning
a gnawing rot

within my self
tugging always
at the taught wound
strings of my mind

insistent and
ever-present
the ache for an
empty mind grows

touch

soul of my soul
heart of my heart
your dearest love
reveals new life

each morning as
i wake to dawn
i greet you in
my deepest thought

for whether near
or far you own
every moment
of my waking

a love so deep
as this which binds
me, must be sent
from heaven's breast

succor given
a lover's touch
soft and gentle
but burning bright

each touch white hot
dancing along
nerves as lightning
my mind aflame

oblivion

oblivion
a seething grave
reaching from cold
glass and metal to

the fires of my
mind, contained
but barely with
a patient breath

oblivion
a sweet death for
me and all my
experience

a transcendent
peak of nothing
all collapsing
inward, a star

oblivion
is a low hum
droning endless
in its silence

as life drains in
towards center
of the center
meaning consumed

a weapon

a life wasted
the subtle creep
of years slipping
into the deep

time flying by
each second so
precious yet
unnoticed

a blurry haze
prozac boredom
drunkenness and
fear of living

nothing ever
feels real to me
what is time if
not a weapon

mother mania

no mind no heart
no soul's bright flame
not even feeling
nothing to name

the screaming void
the hellish void
the endless void
the broken void

each day i choose
to stay here now
in desert bare
above the row

but sand is deep
and rough and hard
and Mother calls
me even now

a soft embrace
for but a spell
until thrust be-
fore a chorus fell

to see and hear
each horrid act
not a piece left
clean, whole, intact

chop chop chop chop
the little red
devils gleeful
go about their

evil business
endless horror
a promise breaks
blood and death, gore

trick'd by Mother
bound and chained
tormented now
forever stained

her delicate
whispers seek my
ears, with endless
fingers questing

Mother of my
sorrows, binding
me, her altar
dark and sacred

but isn't it
so sweet and fine
to be lavished?
a place all mine?

rapt attentiom
paid me by a
hundred hands
grasping pulling

screaming cutting
howling killing
but all for me
and all for me

it's an honor
Mother whispers
and isn't it
better than bleak

and endless plains
of empty white
sand never ends
thirst, without slake

all is ash and
dust within my
self until i
am set free

on screaming wings
of fire and death
a tapestry
of horrors made

ever realler
until peace is
given me in
final quiet

no. only bare
white and empty
a grey life is
better than pain